O My Love

In honor of Valentine's Day, here is another excerpt from Where Is Luv? Oh, the drama, the longing, the hormones! If thou can beareth it, taketh thou back in time, and remember.

December 1, 1968

I changed a lot today. I grew up a bit. I discovered something. I don't know exactly what but it was and is beautiful: this feeling. Went to Romeo and Juliet starring Olivia Hussey, 16, and Leonard Whiting, 17. Terribly moving, vivid, exciting, sad, beautiful, expressful, deep. It hit me like a bomb and I have been in a daze all day. I feel I must find someone who loves me and needs me badly! I feel that I will find him soon! I don't know if this is true but I live until that day! I have taken a deeper outlook upon myself.

Oh God. This sounds so silly yet all day I have been captured by this dream and ache for love and beauty, such that Romeo and Juliet shared!! I even wrote "poems"—something I never do! They have probably all been written before and are all clichés but my brain fed the thoughts to my pen and it was a new feeling! I thought Shakespearean—I thought of love and beauty and purity!! Oh! I can't explain it! I cried so hard afterwards and I want to cry now, too!!

Came home in a daze. Ate. Washed hair. Wrote and read. Cleaned room. Prepared for tomorrow (school—ugh! Harsh Reality!!). Tests and Exams and Projects are so superfluous—to my one and only goal ---> to Love or at least to have this incompleteness in my soul fulfilled. "Goodnight, Goodnight! ... parting is such sweet sorrow!!" Ahh, goodnite. Love, Deb

O my love, I seek not for thy body
Only for thy soul
What lies within you is beyond my comprehension
What lies without I only know is mine.
I love thee
But I seek not for that which I may have
I seek for what I cannot have
My soul aches and yearns for love
Love only your soul can return!

Where must I search?
Where does he hide?
Need he but murmur the stirrings in his soul,
Would he then my soul capture!

The love brewing in my heart!
My soul and my mind must be fulfilled!
When not, thence come the expressions of my body: Tears
Tears, the outlet of my soul
The salty droplets have but no meaning to she or he
Only to me. Only to these lips of mine which absorb this dew
My love! When you come not, then these sweet dewdrops
Will turn to frost!
My anguish is none if I know of but one man
To love, so that together our souls may be one.